I haven't consistently gone to the gym since lowckdown, pretty much. A few months of going here and there after, but life has been crazy, and my mental health has had a serious dip. I want to get back to it. My brain needs it, my body aches and needs it. I just have to go, right!
However dumb it sounds, I just find going back, after having been strong, to starting from scratch, to be super fucking hard to reconcile with. It was much easier when I was a beginner. I had nothing to compare with, everything was progress.
I almost feel embarrassed going back to low weights. I'm not sure to whom my embarrassment is aimed at, probably just myself? I've just been procrastinating going, because this mental barrier is getting to me. I don't really understand why I'm thinking or feeling this way. It's really dumb, but I'm struggling to shake it off. I feel like a big failure. Like I said above, I've been going after everything opened up, but the feeling of disappointment just sticks and has been hampering me.
Does anyone kinda relate to that feeling? How did you turn it around?
Edit: thank you all <3 Your replies made me all emotional. It's a relief to know others have felt this way too! It really helped reframe it in a new perspective. Thank you. I got this!